Titien geht es langsam besser. Dinge des täglichen Lebens werden zurück erobert. Ich schiebe sie mit dem Rollstuhl durch den Regen in die Stadt. Wir schaffen es, zusammen mit Rollator einkaufen zu gehen. Wir gehen zu Fuß in einen Biergarten.
Wir machen einen Ausflug nach Heidelberg, fahren nach Straßburg und fliegen für ein paar Tage in meine alte Heimat, Barcelona. Drei Monate sind vergangen, seit sie aus dem Krankenhaus entlassen wurde.
Wie schafft man es als todkranke Person und als deren Ehemann den Alltag zu bewältigen? Das eine Extrem ist, jeden Tag zu leben als wäre es der letzte. Das andere Extrem ist, die Krankheit zu ignorieren und so weiter zu machen, als wenn nichts wäre.
Mein dritter Weg ist pragmatisch, reflektiert. Ich nehme unsere gemeinsame Zeit sehr viel bewusster war. Alles bekommt eine Bedeutung.
Ihr dritter Weg ist spirituell. Sie liest in der Bibel und schreibt über ihren Glauben. Sie betet vor dem einschlafen mit mir.
Wir sagen uns oft, dass wir uns lieben. Manchmal fühlt es sich an, als hätten wir etwas gefunden, dass vielen anderen für immer vorenthalten bleibt. Ein Gefühl des gemeinsamen angekommen seins.
Manchmal weinen wir auch einfach nur miteinander.
A CARDS GAME.
Sometimes life doesn´t smile to you, but you have to smile to life. Life can be very hard, extremely hard, but when in most of the cases it could be hell on earth, the sun light appears and shines, not to liberate of the pain, but to release it. I am definitely inspired by the intensity and depth of every breath of Titien, and same of Tobias. Tobias is a very good friend and former client, we have been in different types of scenarios, professional, friends, sports, social, etc; top person, top professional, top friend, even good guitar player despite the short life of his band… 😉 Enjoyable trip of mutal friendship. But, I must say that this journey has taken me totally unguarded. This is not a fairy tale, this is real life, this is not the Instagram photo or the Facebook photo of posing in a dreamed wonderful perfect life. This is not a dream life; however, dreamed lives can be empty of meaning, while Titien´s and Tobias are full. Life is not perfect, we are not perfect either, nobodies lives are perfect, we are vulnerable, more than we think we are… especially at some ages. Being vulnerable opens up fears, could lead to desolation and depression, and here starts Tobias and Titien´s love story and journey and how they approach live after it.
I am extremely humble and extremely proud of having had the opportunity of being a friend of Titien, of sharing her dreams, of sharing her laughs of sharing time with her. Titien is not the ironwoman, Tobies is not the iron man either (he is fit … 😉 – but this is about how to overcome a problem and dealing with it in a way that is not a problem, its a condition. Nobody chooses that, nobody. BUT you have to play cards with the cards you are given and trying to win. Titien is a winner, and she plays to win. Everybody knows that we are passing by this world, the game of cards sooner or later finishes. The difference is what can you do with those cards, how do you play the game. The cards given to her are not the best, but she has managed to accept those cards and to win the game, and Tobias is her coach. You might think what is this all about? To win the cards game is not about living longer or shorter as we think, is about the energy and the intensity, and the satisfaction we get out of it. She has learned to live with her condition and enjoying every second,- her stomach and facial muscles must be super strong as she doesn´t stop laughing and enjoying every moment- ;)). I can´t say if Titien was like that before or has become like that, but her mental attitude and mental strength has allowed her to live with intensity and enjoyment that is incredibly inspirational. With an incredible ability, she has managed to turn sadness of illness into pride and happiness to uplift the dignity of the spirit and dignity of the person above the daily pain, to the point that spreads positive energy, positive vibes. Titien is a winner and a true champion. It doesn´t matter how long her game of card lasts. She wants to be happy, she wants to enjoy her cards, she enjoys every card played while playing with that smile she has; it is not a topic, it is true that she is happy, -I am witness and that is why I am writing, to leave a statement of that happiness and inspire others-; and even more important, I am pretty sure she will be happy until the end of the cards game, and everybody that gets into her cards game will be happy, will be happy seeing her happy. Regardless of her mental strength she is sharp and intelligent as nobodies business, and very competitive; she has discovered that is not about the cards given, nor how long the cards game lasts; it is about turning the cards into winner cards, on understanding the meaning and aim of the game; that the game is thought to be enjoyed despite the obstacles given, and obstacles are only part of the game; without obstacles there would not be a game… Therefore, the real winner is that one who understands and enjoys the game, not the one that finishes last or lives longer. The one who celebrates every card with joy and enthusiasm, the one who smiles and takes pleasure to the cards given. Wins who enjoy the game, who loves the game, who loves the cards regardless the cards given; and on excitement, and willingness to enjoy the game and Titien is unbeatable on that, she a true champion of happiness and love for life.
THANKS Titien, THANKS Tobias.
Thank you for inviting me to your cards game, flattered and incredibly honored for having been invited to YOUR GAME OF CARDS, to your life, to your friendship, for the good and bad moments, for showing the meaning of life, for showing where the sun is while darkness.
P.S. For the ones that don´t know me, I am Hugo Navarrete, a proudly personal friend of Tobias Maier for over 15 years, and the person who is in the picture talking to Titien is me. The spirit of that conversation is reflected in this essay.
Thanks for your long comment, Hugo. Lots of memories in there …
I like your card game metaphor.
Take care and hopefully see you soon!
Hi Hugo 🤗 Happy to hear from you 💕 Thank you so much for your words. It’s so beautiful and heart-warming. Truly encourage and elevate my spirit. We met only couple of times, only for short time, but I felt good vibes from you, a good friend and a brother. I am delighted to be known by you, you see through my personality, my journey living with terminal brainstem cancer, and my love story with Tobias. You’re a great profiler 😆! Honored to have you in our “card game”, and whenever I think Barcelona, I remember our best buddy/ Tobias’ open water swimming partner, you! Hugs 🤗
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